Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Low Fat, or the ever-present South Beach all promise the same things - starvation, deprivation, self-denial, unhappiness, irritation, and most importantly, failure as you seek the elusive and unattainable emaciation of Hollywood stars. Why go that tragic route when now you CAN have it all - doughnuts, milkshakes, double meat and cheese burgers, and best of all deep fried snickers bars on the brand new North Beach Diet Author Kim Bailey, the poster child of this groundbreaking new food plan, says it best... "I gained 145 pounds, became emotionally insulated, and allowed food to control every aspect of my life...now you can too!"

This parody of the ubiquitous South Beach Diet celebrates the joys of sugar, butter, and all things carbohydrate. This high-fat, high-salt, real sugar movement is the perfect backlash to the overwhelming barrage of diet plans that dominate bookstore shelves and bedside tables. It is filled with helpful tips, including . . .

• Slower is always better
  
• Always use food as an emotional outlet
  
• Stressed spelled backwards is desserts
  
  Exercise is all virtual in this innovative "Body-By-Cake" program with routines such as: Pie-laties, NordicSnack, and Cap'n Crunches.
  

The "Robust Gourmet" section of the book is one of its best features with over 60 high calorie recipes made with lots of real butter, refined sugar, white flour, and chocolate. You'll be entertained by a few of these like the Battered Fried Twinkies, Biscuits and Chocolate Gravy, and the 7-Layer Nabisco English Trifle, and delighted by most, as you enjoy the sumptuous comfort-food offerings of Cognac Braised Short-Ribs, Buttermilk Vidalia Onion Rings, and Sweet Potato Pie.